Saturday, May 06, 2006

My priorities...

A friend mentioned something about getting priorities in order. Made me think a little bit about mine. I've discovered that there are levels of priorities. Is it my priority, or one my family puts on me? Is it a priority to do for someone else, not necessarily for me? I guess I feel like when I want to put something higher on the priority list that is solely for me, it always seems to conflict with what someone else thinks. I can't just spend today scrapping and blogging, although I enjoy it. Cause if I wasn't doing the dishes and getting the laundry done and keeping the house picked up, it's not a good priority.
Another thing, have you ever noticed how priorities are different for men and woman? Let's get some examples.
Like Debbi, she's a single mom, her priorities are for herself, her home and her daughter. (Work is part of home, can't pay the bills without the job!) So when she is figuring out what she needs to do, she sometimes has to sacrifice a personal priority for a home priority. Can't spend money on the scrapping stuff when you've got to buy food or pay the mortgage. Doesn't matter too much about any priorities when her daughter needs something, Debbi knows it's a mom's job to be there no matter what.
Now Nikki, she's a young married woman, has priorities for herself, her home and her husband. She seems to be a lot better than I at keeping her creativity priorities going, while still taking care of her home and her husband. (as long as she doesn't give blood!) She's not the best housekeeper when it comes to her clothes, but when she gets motivated, stay outta her way! She can get so energetic about things,I wonder if that's a problem for her, where I look at it as a quality. I wonder if I can bottle some of that for myself. She always stays on target with her job, I know she can have drama like everyone else, but when it comes to work, few people hold a candle to how well she performs.
Then there's me, I struggle with things, work is easy for me, I know my job, I don't have trouble doing it, just get SO FRUSTRATED because I am the bosses daughter and rather than that being a positive, it is such a hinderence for me. I found out friday, the other business partners son has a new vehicle that is paid for by the company. I saw the insurance documents. Want to know the worst part? I remember MY DAD taking him to get it. I thought he was just getting him a deal, guess it was a really good deal. I've been at the company for 5 1/2 years, longer that everyone but the other son (who also has a company car). I've been passed over for better positions cause I "know" my job and they "need" me there. The thought of quitting has entered my mind so many times I can't count. I'd like to be acknowledged for the job I do, get promoted, things regular employees get. Heaven forbid I get perks like a paid for car, because I'm the bosses daughter. I'd pass those things by if I'd just get acknowledged as a good employee and not looked upon as different cause of who my Dad is. Quitting is out of the question cause I feel obligated to protect the financial interest in the business. My house is collateral cause it's in my Dad's name, so I don't get tax relief either! My children's college education is invested in the business, my brother, parents, uncle and others have invested their life savings in the company. How could I walk away?
Home- making sure the kids are doing what they need to, having meals made, doing laundry, all those Mom jobs. Husband, makes about 3 times the amount I do, works 11 hour days. If it weren't for his job, the house would struggle. Because of that job, he doesn't help do other things like attend swim meets and transport kids. He does pay all the bills, but he also knows how much money he's making to know how much we can pay. (His job is commission only).
I guess I complain cause I am so needed that I don't feel like I have time for me very often without guilt accompanying it. So what if they didn't need me? How would I feel then? I guess I should be grateful for the things I have and appreciate the moments of personal freedom, just deal with the rest.

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