Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Soap box

Tonight I went to my daughters high school awards presentation. I knew she was getting the Doyle Scholarship, and she was honored with that. What happened next is unforgivable, they announces the scholarships for all the seniors in drama. A long introduction to how much these seniors have given, how hard they work to juggle their busy schedules. Then I look an see a tear of pride on my daughters cheek. Begin the announcement of names, continue right past my daughters name and finish up without even mentioning her. Oh my God! How can this happen? I am sitting, my cheeks flaming, my temper boiling just under the surface. I look to my daughter and see even more tears. Only these are not pride, I cannot begin to try to put into words what I saw. So many thoughts are hurling through my mind. The biggest being, I don't understand. How is it that the daughter whose whole life is consumed by the theatre, get overlooked. This is so wrong. It can not be undone. I walk to the stage (yes, while the drama instructor is still on the stage hugging her departing seniors. I make a quick decision to not embarrass my daughter even more by approaching the stage,, but rather wait until the end of the presentation to those seniors and wait for the teacher to exit the stage. I take the seat next to her and tell her with so much pain and anger that I have a daughter in the audience crying, because she was not recognized. How could this happen? She has tried so hard to please and do anything and everything to gain approval by her teacher. I said to the teacher that I don't care if there is a personality conflict, or if you don't have that kind of relationship with my daughter, this is wrong. I get up and walk back to be with my daughter. I felt like I was abandoning her, leaving her there to address something so sensative. I sat without saying a word, what could I say? We applause to the next group of scholarship recipients, without really knowing what they are getting and why.

I love my daughter, she is amazing. I wish somehow I could protect her from all the shit she gets served, and all the praise and recognition she doesn't get. As a parent, I can say you are wonderful. But that's my job, even if I know she's more than just wonderful. When she doesn't get it from the people who should give it to her, how does that feel?

The teacher came to the audience from the rear of the theatre and asked Brandi to come to the hallway. She apologized for forgetting. She said she'd make it up to her. I'm sorry, but I can't forgive you. You hurt my baby girl, do you know how I feel? Do you know what she feels? I can't forgive you. I'll continue to not make a scene, but I won't forgive. I let you show her you're trying to make it right, but I can't forgive you.

14 comments:

Heather said...

I am so sorry for your daughter. It is so important to check and double check that everyone is included! And good for you for keeping it in check. I know I'd have wanted to explode too!

Lora said...

OH!! Your poor daughter... it doesn't make it any better, but she knows and you know what she has done... but how embarrassing to be overlooked in front of all your friends...

toners said...

Oh Brenda, I'm so sorry about what happened; good for you for pointing it out. As Lora said, you know what she has achieved, but at that age peer recognition is also a great thing....(((hugs)))

Shell said...

OMG that is AWFUL! And apologising afterwards meant nothing - the damage had been done. I can just imagine how your daughter felt!

Sending her HUGE hugs and congratulations on her scholarship!

Lynn said...

That is a terrible thing to happen. I'm not sure I would've been as calm as you were. I will tell you that the teacher definately would've got a piece of my mind before I left that building that is for sure. There is no way to make that up to a child. They are longing to hear their name called and so are we as parents. I'm sorry that you and your daughter had to go throught that pain. I've just recently sat through an Awards Dinner myself. Thank goodness they didn't forget to mention my son (they knew who they were dealing with) Not to mention it would be hard to forget an MVP!

Colleen said...

I'm soooo sorry that happened to her and you're right in that there's no excuse for that. I hope she's proud of all of her accomplishments and Congrats on the scholarship!!

nikki said...

poor brandi. i know she outs everything she has into theatre.... she gets all the recognition in the world in my book!

BonnieRose said...

that is terrible. I agree.. i wud have been just as angry, and no it's not fair. but remember, we must forgive. we must.

John,Diane and their family said...

This is horrible.That teacher will get hers someday but that will not make up for what she did.....

John,Diane and their family said...

This is horrible.That teacher will get hers someday but that will not make up for what she did.....

Lara (LarieM) said...

I'm so mad at that teacher...what a jerk of a teacher. Teachers should be all-encompassing, especially at the end of the year festivities. I hope your daughter knows that this teacher just plain sucks. Give her a big hug for me!

Sandie Grisé said...

That teacher was wrong in not correcting the mistake right away. To say that she will make it up to her later ...get serious! The young lady waited all year for this and to have it taken away...unreal!

Please give you daughter a hug for me.

EquineSpirit said...

((HUGS!!)) to your daughter and you. That's so sad and incredibly hurtful! Not to mention insensitive on the part of the teacher!!

Jill said...

:-( :-( :-( Sorry that happened to her. :-(